An Apology

From of old faith has not been every man’s affair. At all times but few have discerned religion itself, while millions, in various ways, have been satisfied to juggle with its trappings. Now especially the life of cultivated people is far from anything that might have even a resemblance to religion. Just as little, I know, do you worship the Deity in sacred retirement, as you visit the forsaken temples. In your ornamented dwellings, the only sacred things to be met with are the sage maxims of our wise men, and the splendid compositions of our poets. Suavity and sociability, art and science have so fully taken possession of your minds, that no room remains for the eternal and holy Being that lies beyond the world. . . .

You must transport yourselves into the interior of a pious soul and seek to understand its inspiration. In the very act, you must understand the production of light and heat in a soul surrendered to the Universe. Otherwise you learn nothing of religion, and it goes with you as with one who should too late bring fuel to the fire which the steel has struck from the flint, who finds only a cold, insignificant speck of coarse metal with which he can kindle nothing any more.

[Friedrich Schleiermacher, On Religion: Speeches to Its Cultured Despisers (New York: Harper & Brothers, 1958), 1, 18.]

I have an apology to make. Over the past several months, for various reasons, I have allowed myself to become, to borrow Schleiermacher’s words, one of religion’s “cultured despisers.” More specifically, I’ve let myself lapse into anger against evangelicalism, allowing my own crisis of faith to color my vision of too many genuine believers. For that, I am deeply sorry.

I am no longer an evangelical; however, I am still a Christian — and that means that, though I no longer camp under evangelicalism’s broad tent, evangelicals are still my brothers and sisters in Christ. I’ve forgotten the mutual love and humility I so recently called for, and have allowed myself to speak arrogantly against my fellow Christians. For this, as well, I am deeply sorry.

From now on, I will be limiting myself mostly to academic posts on this blog for the foreseeable future — a public forum isn’t the place to hash out personal struggles, especially when those struggles cause you to act angrily toward those who don’t deserve it. If I ever should find reason to write about evangelicals in any sort of way, I will work to make sure my tone is even and fair, the same way I would when talking about Roman Catholics, Eastern Orthodox, or any other Christians to whose denomination I don’t belong.

Again, to anyone I have belittled, I am deeply sorry. I will try my hardest not to enter that territory again, and I hope you can forgive me.

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